One more thing....

arghhhh it's too hot here....I know I know I'm complaining to the wrong bunch right? It was 35 here today... delightful having no air conditioning in my car let me tell you. It's freaking 10:15 pm and it's still 27 outside.... thankfully the house I'm moving into has air conditioning...hello expensive power bills and blog posts about me complaining how cold I am :)

K what I really wanted to say is this....I will have some room for Bath and Body Works soap pumps, for any of you that are obsessed with them, in my suitcase when I come home. They will be about 3-4 dollars a pump depending on the exchange rate and the promos that they have going on, I haven't been in a while. So if you want some leave me a comment and let me know how many, what type (cream, foam, or regular) and what kinds (although I can't guarantee the store will have them). Oh and you're welcome!

Phone conversation...

Me: "Baby I can't wait to come home."

Jason: "I know! Trooper how many more sleeps in the big bed until Mommy comes home? Do you remember?"

Me: "In the big bed?"

Jason: "Well ya he sleeps all the time, so I couldn't just say how many more sleeps or he'd think you were coming home sooner than you are. So I specifically say big bed and then he gets it." (Trooper isn't allowed in our room throughout the day, we keep the baby gate up in order to give the cats a safe, Trooper free zone)

ha ha ha we are crazy parents!!! I can't wait to see them both!

I want to be here....

(this is the entrance to the Magic Kingdom for those of you who aren't Disney freaks).... or anywhere that doesn't involve me sitting in my room trying to write a paper (but mostly disney of course). I am ready for a summer break let me tell you! I am ready to see my friends, family, animals...I am ready to bake, have fun, see some cool things...only 10 more days and I'm done school and I CAN'T wait...

There's a good chance that I won't be updating this sucker much. Not only am I going to be busy, but Erica and I move in together (YAY) tomorrow and we can't get the internet hooked up until Saturday :( Hope everyone is well...

Oh and for those of you who enjoy oatmeal for breakfast...try this recipe. I just had it this morning because oatmeal is a new found liking of mine. I love it that it's packed with protein...it was yummy, I topped mine with strawberries.... enjoy!

Good for the soul....

Something that I've done 3 times now is volunteer at the local food bank in a Mennonite church. It's a great, fun time. It makes you realize how much you have. It's only 2 hours, but it's hard work. I'm usually in the kitchen with April and the boys. We have a blast, make fun of each other, and get nice and dirty and sweaty by the end of it all!

We start by making about 100 bags of groceries (these are standard including a box of spaghetti, sauce, KD, loaf of bread, chicken strips, hamburger helper but no hamburger, donuts, and crackers....and we make amounts for families of 1-3, 4-6, and 7+...the higher the number of people the more food but it really doesn't increase that much). The people who work there regularly bring us the supplies and we stand there and bag them all into paper bags..

Then we each take a station....Christian and another girl (seen blurry in the background) were in charge of getting us all the USDA (approved government food for the month). April and I would get folders and call out how many items we needed, this is based on family size and what they actually want which is discovered through the interview process. What does the USDA approve? your options are a bag of dried beans, rice, canned corn, canned carrots, canned mixed vegetables, apple juice, canned apricots, a bag of prunes, soy milk, Rice Krispies, cheese (which we ran out of halfway through, this was sad for me...I wanted to go buy more), and blueberries. Now most families, although they are allowed to, don't choose all of these products. I'm always left thinking....what kind of meal are you going to be able to make with all of this? Oh and they are only allowed to come once a month to this food bank, however I've been told that there are others in the area that they are allowed to go to if needed. After the boxes from the called out items are packed, Trevor would then weigh them (everything needs to be recorded), and he would pair them up with the boxes of food that we had packed earlier. They also receive toilet paper and some other supplies depending on what is needed (toothpaste, diapers, etc.). Overall, great system...sometimes we wish things weren't weighed so we could slide extra into the bags...we have thought about it and may have acted on it once or twice...those boys and I are sneaky :)

Happy birthday to me....

I was a spoiled, spoiled girl on my birthday. Turning 29 in another country, although I missed celebrating with Jason, friends, and family, wasn't as lonely as I was worried it may be. Thanks to all who planned, organized, and celebrated me....I definitely felt the love!

My birthday was on Friday, however, the celebrations began on Wed. My classmates freaking tricked me and brought food for our class lunch break and sang happy birthday. There was cheesecake people :) I was a little ticked though because we all know how much I hate surprises, oh and apparently Jason was in on it...brat!

Then Thursday's class (mostly the same people but some extras thrown in there and all the faculty) brought munchies again for our break and sang me happy birthday. Seriously, at this point I wanted to crawl in a hole. It was much appreciated, although the balancer of all in me wanted to check in with people to make sure they were okay because we didn't do this for everyone's birthday...in fact we didn't do it for anyone...eek!
Then Friday, after I had counseling, I picked Trev up and we headed to April's. Trevor had weaseled out of me, he's a tricky boy, what my favorite dessert is. I had said chocolate cake with boiled icing (which no one knows what that even is down here...oh and I couldn't say superstore pound cake because that really wouldn't make sense..ha ha ha). So he emailed my sister through my facebook account and got the recipe, then enlisted the help of April because he wasn't quite sure he could pull this off himself. How cool is that? I felt very special, oh and of course I had to go watch this event. It was so fun watching him learn everything from what a saucepan is to separating eggs. We then meet up with a bunch of my friends at a new restaurant that Erica had organized, and then went back to April's to play my favorite...CRANIUM!!! Which was the Canadian version because April's husband is a Canadian. One of the things that someone needed to draw was the Group of Seven, which I didn't get in the moment and then realized why Christian couldn't guess it either...also there was a list of what legendary monsters were not from Canada and Yeti was on there...thank you Disney's Animal Kingdom for helping me out with that response because of there Yak and Yeti roller coaster that is located in Asia :)

Anyways here are some pics....(oh and I swear that was supposed to be a garden gnome not some weird phallic symbol that I was making)

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” - Eleanor Roosevelt“

Been listening to this a lot.....

I love John Mayer....even though he says some ridiculous things that I don't support, you know there's someone in there because of his music....it's that i can support because isn't that the truth about all of us!

Fitting....

I have never been one for poetry, however, more and more I feel my inner self connecting to it; hanging onto its every word. I'll be honest my road this semester has been long and hard, and it's no where near done. I came down here expecting to do maintenance/support work with my counselor thinking that I was long done any trauma work. Little did I know that were still untouched memories. The further I dive, the more I process, the more it feels like I dare. Turning every unknown corner scares the shit out of me in a way I can't even begin to explain. Just as this poem says though, it's the burst of freedom and broken chains of past memories explored that remind me that I will get through this. I'm going to be the best damn trauma therapist ever, oh and humble too might I add...ha ha ha

Darest thou now, O Soul by Walt Whitman

Darest thou now, O Soul,

Walk out with me toward the Unknown Region,

Where neither ground is for the feet, nor any path to follow?

No map, there, nor guide,

Nor voice sounding, nor touch of human hand,

Nor face with blooming flesh, nor lips, nor eyes, are in that land.

I know it not, O Soul;

Nor dost thou--all is a blank before us;

All waits, undream'd of, in that region--that inaccessible land.

Till, when the ties loosen,

All but the ties eternal, Time and Space,

Nor darkness, gravitation, sense, nor any bounds, bound us.

Then we burst forth--we float,

In Time and Space, O Soul--prepared for them;

Equal, equipt at last--(O joy! O fruit of all!) them to fulfil, O Soul.

Good news...

Thanks for the prayers guys and gals... Pamp is out of the hospital! Apparently he's now on medication for blood pressure and cholesterol, so hopefully that will prevent any further issues. Regardless though he'll be back to his old crazy self in no time. I can still hear my grandmother saying "Oh Raymond" in this picture above. This was right before I left in August to come to school. We made my grandfather's favorite homemade ice cream. He decided that he was going to dip his glasses in it and be crazy. If you knew him though you wouldn't expect anything else!

Taking a hint....

So this guy (aka Pampie) is in the hospital. Everything in me wants to stick my head in a hole and pretend this isn't happening. However, I was just in my car and there was a song talking about stop pretending your perfect and let others in...soooo...I'm having a really hard time with this. He went in to the hospital with chest pains and a pain in his arm. He didn't call anyone and drove himself there, this was really sad for me because of how inseparable he and my grandmother were, especially in these moments. They have ruled out a heart attack thankfully, but they've kept him in for other tests. I guess his blood pressure was really high. Anyways, long story short he may be fine, but those of you that are inclined to prayer please send a few up to the big guy for my Pamp. As for me, I will be chatting with my counselor about this because I'm feeling a whole bunch of wonderful things like guilt from not being there, fear of loosing another grandparent, sadness for him, etc. K, back to my presentation now that I've followed the prompting :)

New insight necessary....

I'm really excited! I just ordered "Notes From Exile: On Being Acadian" for my multicultural counseling experience. For class we have to pick a population that we will be working with and submerse ourselves in it for 24 hours in order to gain a better understanding. After talking with the prof, I have decided that it's about time I learn about Acadians past and present, and not from an Anglo perspective either!!!! I remember walking Trooper last summer before going to church and seeing a plaque by the water explaining a bit about the Acadian Expulsion. Now I'm sure I learned about this in school, however, like everything else I learned in high school I really didn't care much about social justice things at that point. Last summer though, it shocked me and I remember making a mental note that I needed to learn more about Acadians and their history, and how nasty us lovely English speaking folks have been and still can be at times...sorry Mel T. :)

So I'm really exited...now I have to be creative because there aren't any Acadians where I'm at obviously. However, my prof thinks this is an excellent idea and something that I deifnitely carry with me (Hillsborough doesn't help this) and I agree, so she's willing to work with me.

I'm thinking a road trip to Grand Pre this summer may be necessary, we were there on our honeymoon, but I want to go back now with new lenses....I love how passionate I get about things, especially things that will alleviate discrimination in my world! To be excited about a freaking book...wow....Amazon says it will be here on Tuesday!!!!

Expressive Therapy...

Guarded (poor Guarded...my snake sock puppet...isn't very photogenic)
Embrace IT ALL!!!!
Say What You Need to Say

One of the classes I'm taking this intense summer semester is Expressive Therapies (Monday and Wednesdays 10:30-3:00). I was dreading this class because I HATE drawing, and have been reminded throughout my life of just how much I suck at it. However, our prof cleared all of that up for me the first day of class by explaining that it doesn't matter. Explaining that we are all individuals and what we bring is okay, there is no standard. So with that in mind.....here are some of my creations thus far. (freaking blogger is ticking me off...I can't get the words to go before the pictures anymore...sorry for the backwards post)

Interesting....

So I'm working on anger right now with my counselor...apparently I don't express it...who knew :) I've been feeling it more and more. I thought I was going to kill someone earlier tonight (thankfully I was by myself and chose to write this and then go for a walk instead). Anyways here's where I'm at... some honesty for you all (pardon my grammar, my editor in chief doesn't edit my blogs...yet).

Bring it on....

I feel you pulsing through my veins.

I feel your sharp, deep heart beats that make me feel like my chest is on fire.

"Keep it in", you say, "Don't let it out.

Hold in all that rage, anger, and frustration.

What's the point in letting it out?

What's the point in showing the world how you truly feel?".

Your teachings ring loud and clear in my mind.

My chest aches, my body trembles, my jaw clenches, yet there's a smile on my face.

It's the smile that makes me want to scream.

It's the smile that keeps you hidden.

I'm done.

I'm done faking it.

If this means unleashing the beast then so be it.

Bring on the rage, anger, and frustration.

Bring on the bullshit that has been piling up for so long.

Cease the tears for now that have become safe to flow and embrace the anger.

Although new territory, I know that these feelings will become safe as well.

This realization leads me to one question...

Who will leave me now?

That I am willing to find out because this is no life for me!

Start at bottom of post and work up...

lastly the ongoing joke.... it took us forever to find this place...but SOMEONE (read: me) wanted Olive Garden....it was worth it though....lots of stories....lots of laughs....some fights and tears... however it was all a wonderful adventure that is stored in this heart of mine. I'm so blessed to have the life I do, and to be able to recognize that is truly awesome! Now lets see what mood I'll be in after my next counseling session...ha ha ha

mandatory attraction....we were closer (where you see the other cluster of people) but I didn't get my camera out for some reason)

Ford's theatre....where Lincoln was shot...crazy eh? It's right around the corner from Chinatown and the spy museum

our next day adventure...the International Spy Museum where we unfortunately could not take pictures...lets just say I was already paranoid enough before walking through this museum...seriously though it was really neat and recommended

somebody not impressed with me having fun after a long hot day :) this is such a Jason look... makes me laugh just looking at this picture

having fun with the camera after a long hot day (the freaking weather was 32 every day that Jason was here...so hot)

that's right Canadian in charge

Jason didn't want anything to do with poor Barrack, he just wanted to do the Clinton

Chinatown

the Canadian embassy aka where I'll run to if I need to :)

Capital building

famous reflecting pool...loved being there!

WW II memorial (so amazing) and Lincoln memorial in distance

off to DC for a few days....took way too many pics...won't bore you with them all...Washington monument and some hot guy in front of it

Commissioning of EMU Counseling Graduates...some of my buddies

ah the mandatory drunk Rockband

someone was having a good time at this point with his new friend

celebration night....end of semester, Trevor's birthday, and Zac's graduation..this was early in the night...lots more came later including Zac :)

heaven forbid we ask someone to take our picture for us

Took a million pictures but you get the idea....

went to Grand Caverns...the first cavern ever discovered in the late 1700's

Blogger is being difficult so we'll start at the bottom....

Supper at Kyoto- a Japanese restaurant where they cook your food at your table...so yummy! Jason golfed 2 rounds back to back this day...

Week 16 and 17....

• ended another semester....with another perfect GPA folks!!! Jason says if I keep this up we're going somewhere really special after I graduate...I think that means I get to pick where right? The pressure is on not to get any A- and screw this up...ha ha ha
• started another semester...I'm now in 2 summer classes (Multicultural Counseling and Expressive Therapy...or as Jason calls it the 1600 dollar class that I color in) that will run for 5 intense weeks...I now have class Monday-Thursday for 4.5 hours a day and lots of homework and reading in between...arghhhhh
• I'll be home in 4 weeks from Wed!!!
• We'll be in Rome in 4 weeks as well!!!!!
• Overall week 15 and 16 have been my favorite weeks yet because Jason was here. We did lots of fun things...it's like he's lived here all his life (expect that he would get a little confused when driving around the city), he got along so great with my friends....I couldn't have asked for a better time with him, we even extended his trip an extra five days so I had him here for 11 whole days...I'm a lucky girl. Here's some pics...k nevermind blogger is being difficult...I'll post pics another time....stay tuned!