More pics.....

DC..... at a very cool organic/fair trade restaurant called Busboys and Poets. I contacted Susan (christian's girlfriend) to see if she wanted to come out and she did. So below is her, I, and April and then the whole gang....

Pittsburgh....we went to the American Counseling Association Conference for the day and then the awards ceremony at night to claim our prize...

left to right: Tara, me, Zac, Linda, David, Teresa (all profs and Teresa is Christian's aunt), Tom.. the department took us out for a yummy Italian supper! It was some famous chick's restaurant, but I have no idea who because she's not on the Food Network :)

at the awards ceremony that was very fancy....almost had an Oscars feel to it....not that I know what the Oscars feels like, but there was a live band and teleprompters so that's the comparison.. we felt out of place, especially since we had been up for way too long at this point on way too little sleep....Come on Mandi I tried instead of just laughing here....you've got to give me that :)

Not only do I think I look GREAT in this pic :) but I also wanted to give props to this boy. This is Tom. You guys don't see him a lot because he's a busy, introverted boy. However, can I just tell you that without this guy to complain to in A LOT of moments I'd be even more cranky than I am....I know hard to believe eh? We have VERY similar viewpoints and it's so refreshing to me, especially during the tense moments in the ethics project.

Teresa and I are becoming more and more connected, bound to happen since I hang out with her two nephews so much. Linda was beaming at the awards ceremony. This is going to look really good on her resume, important since she has given her notice and will not be returning to EMU next fall :( Although her course loads are always intense so I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit relieved. She's taught me loads though, brilliant, brilliant woman!

This was a proud moment for us all. We came first place out of 28 schools, quite impressive for a small little school like EMU.

A window glance...

As I look out the window I smile.
I see a Blue Jay, a Robin, and a Cardinal happily skipping across the lawn, and occasionally flying up to the bird feeder to grab a bite.
I wonder to myself where have they been?
Where did they go when all the snow was here?
I began to feel a bit of jealousy.
Why can't I escape for the winter months?
Why can't I bury my head in a hole and not bring it out until the sun is shining, and life is beginning to form?
Why did they come back here?
Why here? Why now?
It's simple isn't it?
They came back knowing that greater things have yet to come; trusting that there is something new in store for them in this land that is familiar but offers new beginnings.
Guess I have more in common with the birds than I thought!

***I don't know where this stuff is coming from and I'm half embarrassed that it is coming from somewhere. Regardless though it gives a good glance at where I'm at, I think anyways :)***

Week 11....

• Jason and I are discussing that he may need to come down for a visit, 13 weeks is just going to be too much!
• weird hearing my second year friends talk about graduating
• went to Pittsburgh....was fun...neat city...wish I had more time there...all I know is that it's where Heinz ketchup was invented :) Tara took pics and I'm just waiting to get my hands on those, when I do I'll post them...
• was up for 24 hours straight, I'm too old for this
• led 2 groups and saw 3 clients....crazy cool!
• have been really busy
• am hoping not to get sick after Erica sneezed on me tonight and she's sick
• am feeling done and I still have 11 weeks left, oh dear
• did Yoga in class, I am out of shape...guess I won't be becoming a Yoga therapist any time soon
• am feeling strangely disconnected from my world and all those I'm close with, weird and I'm sure that's going to come up in counseling this week
• been learning some fascinating things about the brain in relation to therapy...I need to learn more on this, especially if I want to work with trauma
• had fun in DC for 3 days, learned lots, felt like I was amongst stars because there were a lot of big names there of people that I hear my profs talk about! Also got to see Claudia Black (does a lot of work with victims of trauma who grew up in addicted homes) she was awesome! Rode the subway, went to Chinatown, and spent way too much money on a hotel....but it was worth it. So good to catch up with April. She's a mom so I don't usually get to do things like this with her. Here are some pics (more to come once I get them from April)....

left to right: Josh, Maria, Laura, Zac (all second year students), me, April

one of Zac's "art" shots that he took while we were walking down the street....look at the crazy, paranoid Canadian who has the death grip on her purse in case someone tries to grab it...I'm not sure what Josh is doing here...he's a big dude, used to play football for UVA on a full scholarship with Michael Vic (was bragging that MV slapped his ass on a few occasions...ha ha ha)

Every afternoon we would screw the system and get coffee at McDonald's as opposed to the expensive hotel coffee. Not fair trade, but neither was the hotel....what are you going to do when you're running on way too little sleep? So this is us in McD's before the coffee fix in case you can't tell :)

The ultimate feels....

...sticky, constricting, painful, jagged, sharp, rough,

hurtful, lonely, dividing, hard, dark, confining, and defining.

... like I want to scream, put the brakes on, give up, drop

to my knees and beg for no more. No more images,

flashbacks, freezing torture, memories, and feelings.

...conflictingly so, strangely doable with every breath, even

in those darkest, despairing moments. Even in those

times where I feel like I'm being drug on my knees

by my hair down a path I do not want to travel.

...full of hope. Just like everything else I have conquered,

this too shall pass. This will be my biggest triumph on

this journey of mine thus far. This will make me strong,

wise, healthy, whole, empathic, and connected.

...like I just might not be that alone after all. You are here,

I feel You, and that brings a comfort unlike any other.

I know, I know....

I'm SUPER behind in blog world....

I just got home from school and have got to go pack. So don't expect an update in the next few days because I'm off to DC for the Psychotherapy Networker Conference. I'm really excited, but feeling tired and not sure how I'm ever going to be able to cram more into this head of mine. I'm sure I'll find a renewed strength once I get there. PLUS I'm going with a good friend who I'm greatly looking forward to catching up with and spending some alone time together.

K, off to pack, read for a test tomorrow, and call my man....talk to you all in a few days!

**Mandi have an AWESOME time on your cruise and I can't wait to hear all the details when you get back....be safe, have fun, try to naked swim at some point, buy me something (ha ha ha), and I love you :)

Week 10.....

• skipped week 9 while I was home
• have been crazy busy....the last three days I spent at least 12 hours each day at school, that's ridiculous
• saw a client in what is going to be my office/counseling room next year...it was so exciting! I felt really grown up and nervous as hell :)
• made cornmeal muffins today...mmmmmm
• will be bringing those muffins on our 4.5 hour road trip tomorrow to Pittsburgh. We have to leave the school at 4:30 am...arghhhhhh...then we're there all day and driving back to H'burg that night, I'm thinking this is going to be a 24 hour straight deal....it will be worth it though to get recognized for all of our hard work on that ethics paper
• am missing home, actually thought a few times this week that I can't do this!!! I can though, I'm not a quitter folks...AND no one said this was going to be easy
• nice to go to counseling yesterday, although hard
• am having a busy weekend....I work with Safe Space on campus for my practicum and this weekend on campus they are having "Voice Towards Inclusion" seminars....last night was a guy who came out in the Mennonite church and he shared his story/process, tonight is a play "The Laramie Project" popular novel about a young man who was beat to death for being gay in Wyoming, and Monday night is a panel discussion amongst faculty of EMU about LGBTQ.....so I am required (plus I want to be) at each of these events....I am the counselor at the back in case anyone needs someone to talk to. No one chose to do that last night, however, I'm thinking tonight there will be. Again, this is making me feel grownup :) This is also making me realize that by the time I get home tonight I'm only going to get about 3-4 hours of sleep.....oh boy
• have a lot of school work to do
• watched the most confusing presentation of my life this week.....I still don't know what was going on
• had 2 great chats with 2 great friends last night, it was nice to catch up, laugh, and just be with one another....I've been missing that a lot this semester
• LOVED the concert that I went to....Michael Franti and Spearhead were the opening act. I had no idea who they were until they played this song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehu3wy4WkHs he was really fun to watch....they had a unique sound and you can just tell he's a genuine nice guy that loves what he does....he was running through the audience and got kids to come up on the stage.....very fun


• Then John Mayer.....such a talented musician! He played lots of goodies, especially off his new album (so glad Jason and I bought it and listened to it a lot when I was home)... the guy is an ass though, you can just tell in the things he was saying between songs...I was feeling very awkward for him in some moments....regardless though it was worth it and so much fun...Zac and I had great seats.....this pic was not zoomed in from our seats it's JM's staghe before he come out.....this sctreen/net played a movie thing and then opened up to the band

• yup he was actually playing the guitar on the ground...amazing guitar player!
• anyways that's my week, lots of counseling stuff, getting caught up, and is no where near done yet....off to do a paper....my editor is taking off for a cruise though, so Jason you may be getting stuck with these duties in her place.....hope everyone is doing fantastic!

Exhausted, but....

Just getting home from a 12 hour day at school on 6 hours of sleep....I'm getting old, I can't handle this (JM was so worth it though). So why am I not in bed yet? Well I'm heading there soon. However I decided to check the weather (it's been really warm here and it's been messing me up clothing wise in the daytime because I'm still in Canada mode). Still doesn't answer "so why I am not in bed" does it? WELL because I wanted to brag that's it's going to be sunny and 21 here the next 4 days....now this is the type of weather I signed up for...BRING IT ON :)

I'm back....

Just wanted to let you all know that I made it back to H'burg. I had big tears rolling down my cheeks saying by to Jason yesterday, 13 weeks is going to be a long time. Flights were uneventful thankfully. From Moncton to Toronto I had Milton, a 93 year old man, sitting beside me. He was so sweet. We talked the whole way. He told me a lot about his life once he heard what I was taking at school, and I was thankful to utilize my skills, such as reflective listening and empathic attunement, after such a dry spell (Jason doesn't get any empathy ever, ha ha ha). Anyways at the end of the flight do you know what he said to me? He looked me in the eyes and said "I want you to know that I can just tell by your eyes and smile that you are going to do great things. Last time I saw someone with this was back in 1972 when I hired a woman to work for me and she was the best employee I ever had". Yup I got teary. What a gift to hold on to. I will probably never forget that man!

I have a busy day ahead of me. I'm off to the school to get some work done (praying the Honda starts first since it's been sitting for 10 days). I've got a lot to do since i chose to do nothing over spring break. I'm so thankful I did that, although I was a little panicked last night when reality sank in, but it's fine.

Oh and let's not forget that Zac and I are off to JOHN MAYER tonight!!!!! He's got an Iphone (like all of my friends it seems) so we'll be bringing that sucker in to take pictures....stay tuned folks......

Week 8....

1. did a really cool exercise in one of my classes, the prof led us through a story and we had to write down what we did with each thing she gave us in the story....come to find out everything meant something, it was CRAZY how much mine was like my current life...I'm being vague here because I'm totally going to do this at the Pool some time
2. as I type this I'm yelling at Trooper to stop chasing poor Alpine, ah it's great to be home
3. GOT JOHN MAYER TICKETS!!!!! I'm so excited...I get to go the day after I get back to VA, hopefully this will help mend the heartache...
4. am going to Asian Garden tonight with friends and I can't wait....I'm a lucky girl!
5. had a traumatic experience in my group for group counseling class...we have a lot to learn
6. still can't believe I'm going to Italy in 3 months
7. had a sad experience on the plane yesterday...I was at the back of a small plane (the ones where the luggage goes at the back of the plane and not under the plane) and was watching them load in the luggage. Then I saw a cute little puppy in a crate and they put him back there too :( He cried and yelped the whole flight....it was so sad. I was literally sitting there with tears in my eyes for most of the flight. The stewardess asked me if it was my dog because I looked so sad. I just couldn't stop thinking about Trooper and how horrible it must be for that poor guy. It was a rough flight with a lot of turbulence. I was scared so I could only imagine how that little guy felt. How pathetic am I? More importantly what has Trooper done to me?
8. have got a lot of laundry to do, found all of my clothes from Christmas break still dirty in a pile in the closet...I love my husband :) Seriously though, he tried....I'll give him that. I'm sure the house looked A LOT worse than it does now, it actually looks pretty good right now. However to my OCD eye I see lots of things that need to be done. The trick will be to see if I can just say screw it and not spend all week cleaning and scrubbing....I'm going to try!!!!
9. Jason painted the basement and got rid and the cheesy border that was there.....so thankful, and it looks great!
10. was getting mad at people who were going to Orlando yesterday...the terminal I was in had 4 flights go to Orlando while I was sitting there. One guy was asking his girls what characters they were going to see at Disney. Cute? Yes. Jealous? Even more so! Friggin' Disney...
11. have I mentioned how much I love Trooper?
12. I managed to work my ass off so now I only have to do an interview while I'm home and that's it for school work....cool huh? This was such a huge, important accomplishment for me..
13. Can't wait to see Jason tomorrow (he's finishing up a union trip in Toronto right now)
14. had 2 rough counseling sessions this week....people have been freaking douches to me in my life let me tell you
15. will be more than likely taking a break from blogging for the week

Happy birthday.....

Well Daddy was supposed to send me an updated picture of this little guy specifically for this post. However, apparently he's got too much cleaning to do since someone is coming home. Can you believe that my house hasn't been cleaned in 9 weeks?????? ANYWAYS today is Trooper's 1st birthday! Happy birthday baby boy! The many blessings you have brought into our world far outweigh all of the many messes that we have cleaned up from you. God sure knew what he was doing when he placed this guy in my arms back in April at Fundy Royal Manor and I've been spoiling him ever since. I can't wait to get that little shit in my arms again soon, 2 more days!!!!

When in Rome.....

• take everything in because you may not ever be back
• be thankful
• money shouldn't be an issue
• go to Vatican City, even though you're not Catholic
• try not to have your jaw dropping every time you turn your head, because there will be some amazing sights and history all around you
• eat LOTS of yummy Italian goodies
• try some local wine, even though it will probably taste just as crappy as every other wine you've ever tried....but you're in freaking Italy so you have to try the wine
• get reconnected with your husband and family

That is my list of reminders for me when I go to Rome in June!!!!! That's right......Jason, myself, my sister, her boyfriend, my dad, and his girlfriend are off to Rome in June. We will be there for two nights, then we will board a Royal Caribbean cruise ship to take part in a 7 night Mediterranean cruise!

Day 1: At sea

Day 2: Sicily, Italy

Day 3: At sea

Day 4: Ephesus, Turkey (I need to read Ephesians people)

Day 5: Athens, Greece

Day 6: Iraklion (Heraklion), Crete (no idea where this even is, but I'm excited)

Day 7: At sea until we get back to Rome

We will then spend two more nights in Rome and head back to Canada......

My dad has been really wanting to do this, and blessed my sister and I (and our significant others) with invitations to join he and Dee. By the end of this semester and my summer classes, I will be ready to spend some time on vacation. I'm so thankful for this, because we all know how much Jason and I love to travel, and there's no way we could ever afford to do that right now because EMU is loving all of our money :) It's going to be hard to not procrastinate and look at all the activities and things we can do in these countries. I may need to leave this piece up to Jason though because I'm just too freaking busy. However, if I do that something tells me we'll end up on the Godfather's tour of Sicily, where they take you to all of the scenes where the Godfather movies were filmed....eek!

This post leads me to one question.....WHO WANTS TROOPER for 2 weeks??? What Asher? Oh you want him....okay :)