So I'm working on anger right now with my counselor...apparently I don't express it...who knew :) I've been feeling it more and more. I thought I was going to kill someone earlier tonight (thankfully I was by myself and chose to write this and then go for a walk instead). Anyways here's where I'm at... some honesty for you all (pardon my grammar, my editor in chief doesn't edit my blogs...yet).
Bring it on....
I feel you pulsing through my veins.
I feel your sharp, deep heart beats that make me feel like my chest is on fire.
"Keep it in", you say, "Don't let it out.
Hold in all that rage, anger, and frustration.
What's the point in letting it out?
What's the point in showing the world how you truly feel?".
Your teachings ring loud and clear in my mind.
My chest aches, my body trembles, my jaw clenches, yet there's a smile on my face.
It's the smile that makes me want to scream.
It's the smile that keeps you hidden.
I'm done.
I'm done faking it.
If this means unleashing the beast then so be it.
Bring on the rage, anger, and frustration.
Bring on the bullshit that has been piling up for so long.
Cease the tears for now that have become safe to flow and embrace the anger.
Although new territory, I know that these feelings will become safe as well.
This realization leads me to one question...
Who will leave me now?
That I am willing to find out because this is no life for me!
2 comments:
I don't really know what to say, friend, except keep feeling. I know it is the way to heal. My love and prayers to you.
Thanks buddy...I really appreciate your words, and the love behind them!
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