I thought of you today.... It doesn't happen often, but when it does it hits hard and it's almost unbearable. I do everything I can in those moments to stuff it back down and put the lid back on the intense emotions that arise, when it's a time that I can't process what's happening. Most of the time though, I take a few minutes and connect with that deep part of me that longs to see you again. I think it's easier being so far away from home right now. It just feels like I'm on one of those trips, or that I've been too busy to stop by for a while. The reality is though it's never going to be the same. I can pretend you're still around all I want, but when I call, you won't pick up. When I walk into your house you won't come running around the corner all excited to see me. When I'm leaving you won't be standing in the window waving goodbye to me as I back up. I called Pampie the other day to wish him a happy birthday; he cried a lot. It was hard to hear him like that. Says he wouldn't wish this on his worst enemy. Funny how things change after someone is gone. Funny that we can't just say all the things we needed to say in the moments it mattered most. I think it says a lot that you're so missed by all of us. What would it mean if life just continued on for me as if nothing happened? That's the beauty that you've left behind. You have an everlasting imprint on my heart, and because of that I have an everlasting bank of memories that I can tap into in an instance. Don't worry, I'm not too sad. I promised you I wouldn't be just like you asked. I hold onto what you said, and what we both know to be so true. In the sweet by and by we will meet on that beautiful shore. See you then Grammie!Grammie's Oatmeal Cookies
1 cup margarine
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda in ¼ cup of boiling water
2 cup oatmeal
2 cup flour
½ tsp salt
Mix all ingredients together,
roll into balls and press with fork.
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda in ¼ cup of boiling water
2 cup oatmeal
2 cup flour
½ tsp salt
Mix all ingredients together,
roll into balls and press with fork.
Bake at 350 for about 10-15 minutes.
(This is the best oatmeal cookie recipe, so yummy! I also like the recipe because it doesn't call for any eggs, so I can eat as much dough as I want and not worry :) I like to add a cup or so of chocolate chips as well)
3 comments:
Wow, bring on the tears.
Thanks for sharing your letter, Erin. It's really quite beautiful.
I meant to tell you that when I saw Shelly the other day it was on your Pampie's birthday. I guess when he went in for lunch that day, they had a cake for him. I thought that was really sweet, but I still knew this first birthday without his love would probably be tough. How old did he turn, do you know?
For some reason, I seem to have inherited more than one recipe from this woman. I wonder where you get it from? :)
On the one hand it totally sucks that I've had to say goodbye to two amazing Grammie's in my lifetime... On the other hand I feel blessed to have had two amazing Grammie's that cared & loved as much as they did...
Mandi: Oh I no...I was crying writing it let me tell you. I actually just opened up a new post and started typing, so you're welcome for sharing it with you.
Ya Pampie told me that they did that. It certainly was sweet. He turned 78. First brithday without my grandmother in 60 years :(
Ha ha ha you do have a lot of her recipes, she was a great cook/baker!
Jason: You are lucky my dear. I'm, thankful for how close you and her were..."no one says Grammie the way you do" :)
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